We have a connection. 227. Because if you can put a smile on your face with a little humor, I guarantee that youll feel some weight come off your shoulders.f. Positive affirmations aren't about tricking kids into mentally looking at life with eyes that only see what they want to see. You can be positive and yet be funny and easy-going. , we dont need our internal dialogue to pile on too. We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much. Life would be tragic if it werent funny too. Funny Wednesday Work Quotes. 67. - Catherine Pulsifer. 20. Why did the school kids eat their homework? Envelope. Im lovely because everyone likes me more than Monday morning!, 7. When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective. 9. I dont suffer from insanity. 277. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Yeah, so is a grenade. To thrive in life you need three bones. My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Marriage is like a walk in the park, Jurassic Park. The chains on my mood swing just snapped. 41. Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. Short people with an umbrella. Cry a river. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. 233. 27. Edward A. Murphy. 216. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Should I Send My Child to Therapy? When they go away, its a brighter day. 103. Start your day on a positive and lighter note with these funny daily affirmations and quotes to get you through. I understand success cant happen overnight. If at first, you dont succeed, so much for skydiving. 208. When you leave work on Friday, leave work. I know the best time to make fun. 167. Albert King Once youve chosen one of our affirmations or devised your own, its time to put it into practice. I am just making myself capable enough to live in the moment. Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat. Related Post: 201 Awesome Short Inspirational Quotes About Life. 2. Sometimes the M is silent. Im not weird, Im just limited edition. I am not letting an episode of my life ruin the entire show. If you feel like todays not your day and the best thing would be to stay in bed, Ive got something that will cheer you up. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. All rights reserved. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? At night, I cant fall asleep. Steve Martin, 254. "Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.". I focus on breathing and grounding myself. I make the right choices every time. You definitely dont want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there! 51. Today I was a hero. Sam Levenson. I draw from my inner strength and light. A bargain is something you dont need at a price you cant resist. Ive made it from the bed to the couch. Walter Bagehot. 2. You can write them down and use them whenever youre attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. You can simply try out one of our funny options, or think of affirmations that best match your sense of humor. Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. 12. 166. Stop trying to make everyone happy. Run. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. When life closes a door, just open it again. I bet giraffes dont even know what farts smell like. I receive what I believe. 135. I teach my kids good things in sarcastic ways. You may have people laugh at you instead of with you. So, why not team them up? 185. Walter Bagehot 86. 275. Daily affirmation: your hair is so much better than it was in middle school., 2. I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. If I am willing to go back to bed when I wake up, I will go and make up the bed. So with that being said, heres a list of funny affirmations to motivate you to come out of your comedic shell. Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me? 1. grateful. Seeing a spider in my room isnt scary. Hes dreaming too. Be careful when you follow the masses. If I want a squirrel to like me, I guess I gotta act like a nut. Whatever the case may be, a sense of humor can go a long way toward changing your perspective on negative occurrences in your life. "I make people laugh, whether it's with me or at me.". 100 Funny Christmas Quotes. If Im not there, I go to work. Robert Orben, 4. Here are some tips on how to make the most of using these humorous affirmations: Laughter and affirmations are already powerful separately, so imagine what they can do for you when combined. 86. "Whatever you do, do with all your might.". 265. If I want a squirrel to like me, I guess I gotta act like a nut., 6. I dont need a psychologist to dig into my personal life and ask me about all of my secrets, thats what my friends are for! Enjoying this list of funny affirmations so far? P.D. Robert A. Heinlein He who laughs last didnt get it. My mind is becoming much sharper. 74. I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome., 15. The world needs people like me to keep things interesting!, 15. Never judge a book by its movie. To put your affirmations into practice, follow these steps. Why did the school kids eat their homework? 15. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if youre one of them (I bet you are), youre going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm. My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. You can only be young once. Oh sheet! Well, I guess I have to be odd to be number one. And one of the fundamental truths in life is that they will make . Making everyone angry, piece of cake. I'm having a staff meeting.". Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? 214. 105. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. 77. 15. 163. I have committed to being my most outstanding self. 14. 137. I did it! 118. 8. I am grateful for all that I have. 140. Being funny seems to be taking less effort. My liver still works. We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much. 235. "Your mistakes don't define you.". 124. Im gonna be worse., 12. No man goes before his timeunless the boss leaves early. I dont need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. Why become moody when you can shake your booty. You try again, but no sound is coming out. What do you call a bear with no teeth? Yeah, so is a grenade. You can only be young once. 176. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. Treat me like a joke and Ill leave you like its funny. Making everyone angry, piece of cake. When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer., 10. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. 1. 57. 40. Being funny increase people's tendency to connect with you and talk to you. Im like a postage stamp. 251. 250. I honor that time. Wake up and smell the birdshit on your windshield., 10. "May your yoga pants be stretchy, your coffee be strong and your Wednesday be short.". My sense of humor makes the world a better place., 8. If you cant laugh at your own problems, call me and Ill laugh at them. 130. Read next: 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. I dont need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. "Change is not a four letter word but often your reaction to it is!". Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. Everyone recognizes how positive emotions can affect attitude and overall health. 1. Never take life seriously. Whether its because of a bad breakup or just feeling really down, there are ways to look on the bright side and come out on top. You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, and strong enough. Franklin Jones 252. If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. I will shine like fireworks on the Fourth of July. I can have peace, even when people irritate me.. 156. I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. 219. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. 230. Infographic: Why Do People Swipe Right (or Left) on Tinder. 227. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. You were too lazy to read that number. If you want flowers on February 14, plant them now., 6. 92. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Enjoy! I train my body. Im laughing at the confusion and smiling through the tears. I am tough and resilient. Excuse me, I need to go be awesome today. Art doesnt transform. 3. 179. 169. I like expensive things because I learn the act of taking care from them. 111. 133. I radiate calmness and tranquility, with a little side of body odor., 4. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. Thats what youre called when you dont have a job. Flip Wilson Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. Hmmm, this text message is a little too harsh, Ill add LOL at the end. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Reciting witty affirmations can help you rise above any problems you encounter. 236. Run. 108. Wake up and smell the birdshit on your windshield. no rich foods. Putting up with others shit isnt on my To-Do list today. After all, laughter is a universal way to express yourself. 132. 19. My past is just a bad book that deserves to be in the trash., 9. Declare your affirmations slowly and clearly. Im so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. 28. "Life is like a roller coaster pic - scary at the moment, funny looking back.". Always remember youre unique, just like everyone else. Here, we are listing down some awesome funny positive affirmations that will bring out serious positive changes in you. I love the moment when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I am going to be today., 12. 58. When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective. Your values become your destiny. Sometimes these surprises are way too spectacular and sometimes way too tragic. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? So with that being said, heres a list of funny affirmations. 278. Affirmations are a great way to change your mindset. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. I put my phone in airplane mode, but its not flying. Steven Wright, 252. Infographic: What is the Ultimate Commitment. Im not weird, Im just limited edition. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. Your words become your actions. If you dont succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa. 35. Sometimes the M is silent. It equates "weight loss" with thoughts like: I can. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? Because seven ate nine. 46. 'Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.'. Short Positive Affirmations set the pace for your day. Treat me like a joke and Ill leave you like its funny., 4. The library, because it has so many stories. I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. 1. 7. Dont worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Your email address will not be published. Rather, the goal is to help kids recognize the truth, in situations and in themselves. 50. If Cinderellas shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? 37. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. Sharing quotes, proverbs, and sayings of great authors to touch people's lives to make it better. I personally love watching masters of comedy, Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre. (John 14:27) 27. -Gandhi. Dont worry, the spider is smaller than you. I can have peace, even when people irritate me. I am on a seafood diet. 208. 102. 195. 89. 13. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? Laughter can help you see the humor in otherwise grim situations. 2. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? 118. And in that moment I swear I still didn't give a shit. 153. 279. Im a work in progress without a completion date., See also: 120 Ultimate Best Quotes About Progress To Fuel Your Growth. 273. 253. I eat cake because its someones birthday somewhere today. 1. The best way for me to appreciate my job is to imagine myself without one. Feel free to share with friends and family on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, WhatsApp, Twitter and more to motivate them every morning. 171. 38. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. 232. Benjamin Franklin I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me., 8. A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. Just as importantly, you can benefit from laughter in everyday situations. What we say not only affects our lives but also has an impact on those around us. Im sure youve heard a lot about affirmations, what they do and why you should start using them daily. I might go home today, but I will go bigger tomorrow. Here are the 200 best sarcastic quotes, from funny comments, sayings, and phrases dripping with snarky sarcasm. The chains on my mood swing just snapped. I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. Today is a great day. Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. It doesnt work if it is not open. Not sure who to credit this meme to, but kudos. "I am becoming humorous day by day.". People wont be going to bed thinking about that one bad joke you made. Check out our funny affirmations selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our encouragement cards shops. I often wish I was someone else Just so I could hang around with someone as awesome as me. A gummy bear. Effective pushing often involves poop. Life begins on Friday night. Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. Breasts dont have eyes. You can make friends and have good relationships if you believe in your sense of humor and fill your mind with funny and positive thoughts. I feed my spirit. Granted, it can be challenging to write affirmations, especially if you havent done it before. I breathe in and out. I would have appreciated exams if they had allowed our Pokemons and Ninjas. 56. I have a new hairstyle today, its called I tried., 136. I am confused between what I like the most hanging out or posting that I hung out. Dont make me laugh, Im trying to be mad at you. People only rain on my parade because they are jealous of my sun and tired of their shade., 14. 201. Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if you're one of them (I bet you are), you're going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm.I'm sure you've heard a lot about affirmations, what they do and why you should start using them daily.They are a powerful to. My past is just a bad book that deserves to be in the trash. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. I may not know karate, but I know crazy and Im not afraid to use it. 76. 162. 234. If you woke up feeling drained and blurry, these funny affirmations will boost your energy and get you ready to slay the day! A bargain is something you dont need at a price you cant resist. 199. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Leave me a if you agree! I'm doing great. The best things in life are free. I stick to things until I get to my destination. Laughter keeps us from taking life too seriously, and life certainly does everything it can to ensure that we take it too seriously. 268. 178. 63. A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. 12. I try to see the funny side of every situation. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Why is England the wettest country? I'm amusing and people enjoy talking to me. Its okay, he woke up. Need to send some positive energy your way? 176. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. 243. 145. He said, 'So does the guy I stole it from.'" 55. Trust me, your secrets are safe with me and all of my friends. 26. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? 75. Bill Gates. To the guy who created imaginary numbers in math: I hate you. I believed in Santa Claus for 10 years. I always find something funny in every situation. 149. 106. 104. I love my body. Papercut: A trees final moment of revenge. 154 Short, Positive Affirmations that are Easy to Remember. Not everyone has to like me. If you are looking for a way to get more laughs in your day, try some of these funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. And, it doesnt have to be hard or complicated! Be careful when you follow the masses. If you think nobody cares if youre alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. Quotes To Inspire You (MLK), 80 Life Gets Better Quotes To Brighten Your Day (Hope), 50 Bad Luck Quotes When You Feel Ill-Fated. 116. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. We have a connection. This is a good thing because affirmations are supposed to be associated with happiness and positive emotions. Plus, youre never gonna become funny and charismatic by being afraid to speak your mind. 23. I dont like morning people, or mornings, or people. You can write them down and use them whenever youre attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. I tell you what always catches my eye. 6. can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life. 152. Chris Rock, 256. 219. Enjoy! I will never let anyone treat me like a yellow starburst. It will warm you twice unknown. My son is now an entrepreneur. These 50 funny affirmations will help you feel better about yourself while keeping a wide smile on your face. 8. I am changing all my useless things into something productive by working on them. Today, I look at my goals. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. Im going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, Im outstanding. "After 30, a body has a mind of its own.". Milton Berle, 245. I am naturally cool, calm, and collected. Over time, when you use these affirmations, your mind begins to equate new words with weight loss. Best friends eat your food. 33. Microchips. Youre just gonna feel embarrassed for a minute or two and then it will be over. "Have a great Wednesday. - TS Eliot. Its scary when it disappears. "In life only one thing is certain, Friday will come.". 7. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure youre actually funny. I am finding fun and joy in everything I do and everywhere I go. 274. Send me the link. I personally love watching masters of comedy captivate audiences with their dark humor and crafty punchlines. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? These kinds of things just come with the territory if youre trying to live a meaningful life. 160. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. 146. Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of a Single Mom, Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of Midlife Relationships, Did you know that having a good sense of humor is very important when it comes to social interaction? 28. In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life. These funny ideas are smart and a bit sarcastic and will bring a smile to your face. 144. 31. Let me gather my thoughts and crush this Monday., 15. Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive. One of the most important aspects of affirmations is how authentic they feel to you. Positive Affirmations And Inspiring Quotes About Life Life is filled with highs and lows, sometimes, we need some inspirational quotes to help us overcome challenges of life and offer guidance to us. 181. 89. I dont want to fix my spending habits. Dont give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. The rhythm of the weekend, with its birth, its planned gaieties, and its announced end, followed the rhythm of life and was a substitute for it. If you just want to keep reading, then heres some affirmations about the funny side of friendship. Short Positive Affirmations "I Am" Affirmations. May life man not be perfect, but Im blessed., 13. When I grow up to be a parent, my children will think the same about me. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #affirmations, #affirmation, #funnyaffirmation, #dailyaffirmations, #affirmationsoftheday, # . 6. Self-love is the greatest middle finger of all time., See also: 210 Killer Self Love Captions For Instagram To Lift You Up. Friends buy you food. Ive got three bones. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. 58. 196. A mind is like a parachute. Emphasis on the cool. If Cinderellas shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Ive collected 90 funniest affirmations from different sources on the web that will help you start a day in a positive manner. [click_to_tweet tweet="Things are getting better all the time" quote="Things are getting better all the time" theme="style4] Envelope. And their purpose certainly isn't to minimize hard feelings. I'm a peli-can! Learn sign language, its very handy. Im old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. It doesn't make sense to dwell on things you can't do anything about. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Bill Murray, 260. 9. Its okay if people dont like me. East 134. I wonder why spiderman narrated it the other way round. "Once you choose hope, anything's possible.". Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be miserable., 7. Heres some short funny affirmations that will hopefully brighten up your day. 43. 44. Whatever you must do todaydo it with the confidence of a 4-year-old in a Batman cape., 2. Im not here to judge, Im just pointing out all the mistakes youre making. Today Im going to reach for the stars so that I can air out my armpits. Benjamin Franklin. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. 44. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. 35. Im multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. Youll probably grin or laugh if you say these affirmations aloud, thinking youre crazy. Let us know which of these motivational affirmations inspired you the most. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. Not everyone has good taste., 3. 217. Pampered cows produce spoiled milk. Unit #2007 Mahwah, NJ 07430, 50 Funny Affirmations for Confidence, Motivation, and Self-Love, 39 Movies about Friendship and Being with Great People, Relationship OCD: Symptoms, Causes, and How to Treat, 45 Best Hobbies for Couples to Share Together, 51 Passion Project Ideas & Examples List for 2023, 21 Best Films That Explore Mental Illness, 41 Words of Encouragement for Someone in Jail, The 5 Best Vitamins for Anxiety (Our 2023 Review), 101 Toxic People Quotes to Stay Away from Negativity, 57 Strong Mom Quotes About Being a Powerful Parent, 7 Steps to Deal with Emotionally Unavailable Parents, 35 Best Songs About What Its Like to Have Anxiety. 271. The only power you have is the word no. I nourish my body every day. So far, so good. Expect nothing and appreciate everything. health is important. I see food, and I eat it. The world is my buffet, and my plate is ready to go. Funny Friday Quotes. 100. Be kinder with yourself and change your thoughts for better health (physically and emotionally). Dear universe, Im totally open to all of the amazing things coming my way. People who talk behind my back are getting a great view. 161. No one is immune to self-sabotage, heartbreak, loss, and failure. You can't wait for inspiration. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. As a result, youll stay consistent, and with affirmations, consistency is the name of the game. 3. 218. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. My mistakes dont define me. 39 funny positive affirmations. Why cant you play cards on a small boat? Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, Id drink it. 245. Give your body time to absorb the positivity and let go of negative thoughts. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. 72. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. 109. 54. You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart. 266. 264. Whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. 1. I get up, dress up, and show up. 107. I just go normal from time to time. 9. Build a bridge. Short Funny Affirmations. 126. I am capable of eating a family-sized bag of chips. Marriage is like a walk in the park, Jurassic Park. Cindy from Marzahn. Alexa, please clean the negativity off of my mind please., 4. I am willing to ask for help when it serves my growth. Alison Boulter. First, the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. And a funny bone. Its not important to win, its important to make the other guy lose. They planet. 186. 273. What is the tallest building in the entire world? 209. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. Bill Murray My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. Alright, get in the basket. My funny vibes attract my funny tribe., 3. Nobody gets out alive anyway. 189. 3. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. 124. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. 84. Learn sign language, its very handy. The rest are too expensive. We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. 7. I love living in my unique female body. Dave Barry. 220. 239. 139. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. Youre talking to yourself. Get help beating negative thinking by reciting positive affirmation every day. Positive mindset affirmations. I wish my wallet came with free refills. 231. Robert Bloch. 21. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. 204. Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Lily Tomlin Short Funny Quotes. 269. Im multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. 159. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
Frost Museum Discount Code,
Does Sevin Kill Lubber Grasshoppers,
New Rochelle City School District Superintendent,
Articles S
