He is all puffed up with this uber confidence at the moment so I suspect the A has begun again. He didnt have OW around he left b/c he couldnt live like in that environment and nothing being addressed anymore. Thats the trick we have to remember. I doubt it would have changed the outcome but it might have enabled me to cope better. So today there was no more discussion of R or MC. It makes no sense as that is a massive assumption based on no facts, but it tells me he thinks he is entitled to more of the M assets than I am. Its all a smokescreen to hide their betrayal. But when you do see him dont talk R. Its so damn tempting. Im a big girl, I dont really care what they think. May be a breakthrough, but Im not sure where his head will lead him next. so he is mad. They can challenge your assumptions and help . I dont know Satori. Sometimes I feel it. I wanted to be alone. His current thesis is that Ill be fine because my family will take care of me. But what you said to your H. Exactly that!!! God Bless your Dad. He may hate you now. Im glad that youre getting some sleep. Seriously. If you have a love of Christ, then give Him a try. It depends what else is going in in your marriage. H wanted to get together again in another meeting to talk more about all the nitty gritty. Can you believe when I first heard the ILYBINILWY line, It was so out of left field I had to google it!!! Hugs sister, Thanks Doug, Satori, Trying Hard and the TFW. Or, Satori looks like she is ok without me etc so the interest is only ego-based. Yep let HIM pursue YOU. Fortunately, my grandfather also had an extremely kind father who made up for all of the emotional abuse he received from his mom. Ugh I cant believe they make you wait a year!!! I hope you also expressed that R is still on the table but you cant do it by yourself and that he is being quite uncooperative at the moment. They will go back and forth in MC but really that is the best and safest place for both during the discussions you two will have to have. Its his actions that still haunt me. If he thinks he can manipulate you and your M he will. I agree with you that he is 100% in the affair fog and fantasy aspect of it all. Sometimes we just dont have enough to give when dealing with our own grief. Cheating is never acceptable but cheating in and of itself doesnt have to be a deal breaker. These women do not have other men in their livesthey have often just fallen out of love and nothing can change their mind. Thank you for being so incredible TryingHard. Ive been too stressed to even take the Valium or sleeping tablets I have been prescribed as I dont even trust myself to have the bottles nearby. Thats my greatest fear. Now you would think hed be thrilled to know he was going to be rid of me. Hard to watch but he did the right thing. Thank you for talking about the possible narcissistic connection because even before I read this article I was beginning to have my hunches that my ex is a narcissist. I emphasized that forgiveness is the only way forward regardless but I also said that in practical terms of the M clearly it cant be effective without the cooperation by H. (Exactly as you said) Not so far though. He was the one doling out what he wanted me to know. Just wish some kind of rare form of cancer on her. He usually pays it 15 minutes before the policy will be cancelled. We all need to be here to support one another even if someone communicates in a way that we dont. He doesnt care. He wasnt 50 but he sure said the same things he said when he decided to have another at 56. Some cases of runaway brides are caused by having made romantic compromises. Its a horror for sure, with our exes behind the wheel, out of control and hurting everyone around them while they only think of themselves. I described to my wife exactly how her affair played out. Still. It is easier for them to turn the other way rather than confronting a friend or loved one for their behavior. If I had to go to something like that, it would literally blow my anxiety radar up!! The things they do! And he is struggling with that as a concept (that I will go for more). What I love and appreciate about you (and this is also true of everyone here) is that you see very clearly where the fault lies (with the cheater) and while you are very mindful of the treatment you received yet you are still in your M. Still being loving towards / loyal to your partner. Pray for those who hurt you. That and seeing the space shuttle launch were the things that lured me to Florida in 1976. 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars. you cannot be his doormat nor his keeper. Im sorry but after at least a year of dealing with an OW in my marriage, Id be saying adios, adieu, chio, alavida, wadaeaan, zaijian, sayonara!!!! Im not out to save the world. A convo to take his temp on the situation. During his A I had to deal with a death in my family (very unexpected), my job issues (which were escalating), trying to get my hands on $ b/c I was afraid he would leave me financially struggling, my teen Child and their abusive BF/GF relationship, PTSD and being saddled with the house and mortgage without the $ to keep me afloat until the house would sell. He accepted but then he burst into tears on the phone. The pretending to move thing was a way of showing me he was detaching too, distancing. It gives the affair power. Not really a mean person. Ive found some OW sites but they are so inane I had to quit for my own sanity. 2015 was a wreck. But dont give it too long. He is a father. Care factor: zero even though I was crushed beyond anything. Im going to print this out and put it in my journal for future reference (regardless of your very naughty swear words LOL!!!). Told my family. I long ago realised H was in a CS mind not his usual, old H mind. Iyo inosanganisirwa nehunhu hunoshushikana uye hunofungira, apo iye (iye), nekuda kwezvikonzero zvemunhu uye zvemagariro, achitya kuroora. Well eff that!!! That seemed to be what happened the other day. I think he is going out on dates on weekends. It has done some good. Arm load after armload of stuff. My situation may seem on the surface to fly in the face of what you are saying. I had to quit answering the phone during that time I had so many people calling offering to take me to dinner, go out etc but I just couldnt handle much stimulation. Sure enough it came out. So perhaps the subject is not as taboo as we think. I gave myself a personal deadline for a decision of around now but there seems to be no progress or improvement in his attitude. First, what your fianc did was nasty, selfish, and loathsome. To heck with them. Thanks ShiftingImps, I agree with you and I can certainly see the difficulties for MILs. You must force yourself to get sleep. They will help support and protect you. I just try to be supportive and helpful b/c we all know the devastation that infidelity brings to your life. She wanted to dig into childhood stuff but Im flat out trying to survive here. I have removed from myself the need to be perfect nor to have explanations about anything in my life to anyone who I dont feel safe around. Im still close with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law (I see them socially) so I guess the PILs are the problem. I hope you are right. But it happened. And his choices went to the OW more often than it should have. He immediately went NC with her. I am so sorry to hear that you lost someone dear ShiftingImpressions. And as I have stated he has deep regret and remorse for his behavior and things he said and chouces he made. Its almost a taboo subject. I have had a LOT to say to him to correct that crap. I have a very dear friend whose husband deserted her around the same time my h left. Figure out.what YOU want. Nice wife was gone in that moment. Mid-Life Crisis? Eat what you want, drink what you want, go ahead and laugh with your family and cry too but take care of YOU. By the grace of God (and I mean that) my H came to his senses at the last possible second. Hmmm. In one hand was my car key, in the other hand was my ATM/Banking card. [note: My theory of relationships is that in an healthy situation, you bring out the best in each other. H will not see it this way, since he is not trying to see anything from other than the angle of his own selfish needs and wants. But, like TFW stated, nothing we say or do probably makes them wake up. Hearing others stories of betrayal and survival can be very empowering. And really did you honestly expect anything different from them? Do something you enjoy but I know from experience theres not much to enjoy!!! My feeling is if it was totally not an option he wouldnt be pushing so hard to end our M and nor would he refusing R if she wasnt in the picture (even in his mind). Such is the mental mayhem of my H. I wonder if now he is valuing me more since Im not around to fix everything for him. That was until my great, great grandmother was an old and penniless woman. Turns out that is when the EA began in ernest. Not that they didnt help but this site kept me going. But never fall for the Lie. "Now remember, my father in law to be was the sheriff. They had to see how to act with dignity and honor when you are being treated horribly by the person who should treat you the best. And getting back the self-respect is the first step toward them reconnecting with us emotionally. She even blamed me for her affair. It is inhumane, robotic and animalistic. She also said that he now seems really good. My wife would never cheat on me. Thing is he saw what I went thru and yet he choose the same path. Featuring flavors ranging from both parents and a combination of. That was a perfect summation of the MLC and label / diagnosis conundrum TryingHard. It might be a little rough for you this being the first Christmas without him. She thought that would be quite nice. But little by little youll start healing. Because IMO anything else would only make it worse for you. One thing that worries me is that you got the renewed commitment while your H had one foot out the door, yet mine already has two. Almost everytime I have shared a bit about my own grief,afterwards someone will come and share their grief with me. Thank you for the support. a MIL or grown children. And he has refused all of it. He probably has not seen that side of you and should be scared. And its hard to do when your heart is screaming NO. Its CS101. ???? There are no guarantees in life. He is helping me create some spaciousness. I pointed out various, shall we say, facts of life regarding the historical reasons for things. I just sat in it for a whole day as it was the only place I felt safe. I dont have it in me to go through this again. Ive let them all know who and what she is. Youre a good man. I was getting ready for work that next morning. I was too nice. And then race to 1000 beats a second. How to make a lighthouse, crafts for the New Year from flower pots? The person I seem like I am to anyone I might deal with in the normal course of things and the person who is operating the machinery of the body Im in whos like a mad professor throwing up all these wacky ingredients into the science experiment of my cycling-through-my-feelings cocktail of horror. Gave up. If you are SO UNHAPPY (for years) why is this the first I am hearing about it? One minute we are sailing along and the next thing I know I am treading water trying to keep my family together. Slow progress but it is still progress. Although this kind of act rather characterizes the unstable character of the one who despaired of it. She called me approx. Current mood? She held control and power over you. WOW! But what he did was a cowardly move. But the power is with you, youre the only person who can reverse this snowball.. Nothing makes any sense but one thing is certain: in Hs mind, its all about his future financial comfort and happiness. Further humiliation. It really does. People just fall out of love. Losing parents is a primal and life altering experience as you have so eloquently if painfully described. I was someone else back then. I, of course was the lovely wife who helped her H move out. Then it continued: Hey, you know theyre all the same and you know youre doing better on your own so dont buy in. This happens over time when a wife sees her husband as disinterested, not cherishing her. Ive certainly wondered about it. Im still considering that as an option, just wanted to see how the next week plays out and if she is still in touch with my H. You cant Whatsapp your way out of the federal court system here! (Insert eye roll here). Ive never pretended to be anyone else here. A friend of mine who lost a child to a late term miscarriage had this to say about grief. And then, desperately, we go out on the water to rescue them. I view the 180 as saving yourself. Just hearing your story helps me understand that my extreme feelings are actually to be expected. The calm before the storm kind of quiet, which weirdly makes it feels like its all been in my head and nothing happened. I bet almost every BS has heard this. Thank you for your encouragement. Youre a good father. Wilbanks's criminal record was expunged after she successfully completed her period of probation. I only read this blog, Betrayed Wives Club ame Chumplady (her moto is dump a cheater gain a life so read at your own risk). Smh. Yup.goes right along with that detachment thing TH. Example. Im looking forward to him finding out how hard it really is when you dont have a loving W in the corner doing everything for you to run your life and your business etc. They can be very effective and they do save lives. Its just a nightmare. See you recognize an isdue and deal with it. Satori Me too. He figured out I can be his best friend or his worst enemy. [3], In September 2006, Wilbanks filed a lawsuit against her ex-fianc, claiming that while she was hospitalized and under medication, she granted Mason power of attorney to negotiate the sale of the couple's story to a publisher in New York. They are in his corner believing he had been mistreated by you. He denied she was his Plan B. I asked for and he said he would show me proof that he had ended it formally with her. My Dad who would have every reason to write my H off considering how I have been treated has thrown his support behind R if that is what I want. According to the BBC, Jennifer Wilbanks sold the media rights to her story to a New York City company for $500,000. Not age, not FOOs, not success or lack thereof, not flabby tummies or ED. I thought if I knew my H was so unhappy for 18 months I could have done something about it. If people dont know who they are they truly mirror whoever they are around. That should drive home a lot to him. She tracked down my great-grandmother and my great-grandmother took in her mom and cared for her until her mothers death. in the night sky I saw a massive shooting star. This may be convoluted and disjointed but I think you get the picture. During the affair.prior to d-day, I gave him every opportunity to tell me how unhappy he was. It just meant so much. Yes, much better, Satori.thanks for asking. I am a brazilian 59 yo man. And I was still on that roller coaster ride. Put your well being first. I liked it better when you were dirty. Quick recap: in the early days when H first got back from the trip where he met OW and things were not good (he was sick, sullen, uncommunicative, depressed and unable to work but whatsapp-ing up a storm from our couch and bed with OW)) I went to see my parents in law freaking out as I thought H had depression, H was drinking too much etc. I was feeling that I might be putting too much pressure on the gorgeous TryingHard, ShiftingImpressions and TheFirstWife, all of whom have being helping me enormously on here. Asarrrggg. I know it. It almost seems like another life now. When my mother passed away very suddenly five months after d-day, the grief of my husbands betrayal and my mothers death became one big mix.I didnt know if I was coming or going. I understand how hard this is. I guess he never thought to share that with me (or seek help for it). The thing that I personally have trouble with is differentiating between a narcissist who abandons his or her family because he or she is just doing what a narcissist does best: leaving a trail of broken and battered bodies in their wake, OR if the person is truly a runaway spouse. He was white. Even offensive OW who come here occasionally to spout their agenda. Own nothing about your husbands cheating. I cant imagine why you would try and break up a marriage. Satori She was pretty adamant she wanted to divorce. I called him on it. Right or wrong people think acting like Switzerland is the way to go with this information. Just remember to avoid believing his words and WATCH HIS ACTIONS. When a wayward spouse does not want to leave their affair, being nice does not work. H called off the last two meetings with me I am sick and staying in bed all day, so according to H he was sick the whole weekend. 5 Subtle Signs of Unprocessed Attachment Trauma, The 10 Best Predictors of a Bad Romantic Relationship, Feeling Stuck? It was so heavy. It has been very good for a whole lot of reasons. Again, I understand this journey is about putting energy into me and not him however I am a person that needs to process everything. Unfuckwithablewhen you are truly at peace and in touch with what and who you are that nothing anybody says or does bothers you and no negativity can touch you. I have been diligently applying the 180 as per TFWs advice. I wish and pray that he would wise up and realize the tragic mistake hes made. Even your best friends because, well this shit has cooties and some of it may threaten their own marriage. Right ?!? If you follow their advice to the letter they can save you a lot of heartache. IT SUCKS. Trying Hard: I know that had to be hard to type out and bring up those memories. More emotional hoarding under that rug that already has a mountain of shit under it. Ive been NC with H except for one day a week for the business. Its expected hed say that crap because as usual hes a cliche and taking all this stuff from the cheaters handbook. I know what it feels like. Especially if you have no idea if he will continue to support you in the next months. I should have gone hardcore straight out of the gate (NC and legal) and I feel I may have had a better chance to turn this around. I hope in some little way my story helped you. That was my bad. It is further betrayal from people I invested heavily in over a decade and a half. Satori She had never acted like this in the 25 years that I knew her (21 of that being married) so I couldnt accept that this was the woman she wanted to be. Next, you must take care of your physical self. It is no understatement to say that going there saved my life. I just wish I could feel less fearful of the tsunami that seems to loom and in which I could literally lose everything because of the actions of the person I trusted the most, who is behaving in the most unpredictable and damaging of ways. My adult children know.but they love both of us and it wasnt up to them to fix what was going on. God works in the most mysterious of ways and God knew music is very healing for me. [14], A photo of Wilbanks appears in the trailer of the 2008 movie about professional poker, The Grand, as one of the many women Woody Harrelson's character has been married to in the past. I already had the locks changed and had a letter to get some basic understanding about the business end of financials. It makes him more predictable and I can only compare that to the 2 weeks when I didnt know after he left on no notice and it was such agony trying to process why he was behaving in the apparently random way he was. No I disagree with your brothers assessment but I understand where people get this crap. NOTHING. A good person? I wouldnt try to keep it short. Im also wondering how much I contributed to creating that image without thinking any deeper and making sure there was accountability from the get go rather than just the veneer of the cute couple with the cottage and the dog etc. And therefore, since he is not willing to give me a satisfying answer to any of it, the more I express in comprehensive fact based detail what I understand and the more right I am, the more dug in to his logically indefensible position he becomes and the prospect of closure or even breakthrough becomes (ironically) less obtainable. I just called my husband to come home after telling him what I found..I was scary calm. It ysysalky does. He is digging a bigger hole for himself, but knowing that fact doesnt help me cut a win-win path for us both which is my preference as in: if no R then we each leave the M as whole people with a clear vision for our futures rather than destroyed. Nine years after Pretty Woman, Runaway Bride gave Julia Roberts and Richard Gere a chance to bring the genre's defining decade to a close with a wedding-centric battle of the sexes. They make no sense. He has been calling and calling my insurance lady trying to find out why I am doing this change. Melatonin is now on my shopping list. We discuss our experience and what worked and didnt and why. Honestly it feels unsurvivable but you guys are all proof that this terrible thing can be borne and offer the hope that R is possible. So we all stood and laughed until I got tired of watering my clothes and shoe garden. Meanwhile, her fianc thought she was just getting cold feet and would come round soon. And not having me to rely on for all his stuff / ride to the train, errands, pay the bills, groceries, gift shopping, kids activities now are all on him. I know my W is still involved with the OM caught her meeting him, lying about it a few weeks ago. CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION. Sadly, I know this all too well. I highly recommend it. You are right, it has helped me to vent, even if it is , ahem, expressive at times. My H is young, currently more impulsive (this new 2.0 post 40 year old version of him that is) yet I would have previously described him as the steadiest person I know. Pigs. Bwahahaha. It started with him ranting at me and I acted as HB says on her site, I just shut my mouth, he kept ranting ranting ranting, but in doing so, I could see exactly where his issues laid. At this point you can only speculate regarding your husbands motives etc. Now he needs to deal with his own fallout that he alone created. And as hard as it can be, dont bring up R at all. i took one day at a time and hing in his words. I think you must be stronger than me. I believe in forgiveness as a concept. We play doctor. Then make a few payments. My guess is he will go. Although I am doing it still really (business etc). All of your red flags were the same as the ones I came up with, thats why I pushed for another meeting with him, to check if the headspace I woke up in was the right thing. Like others here, you have a BIG HEART. Ive seen other infidelity sights and yes some are monitored and censored. All alone and in shock I got up and made the brilliant decision to drive sround the local hotels looking for him. LOL. He may be angry at you b/c you are standing in the way of his true love. Im not surprised that everyone here has had the same physical symptoms and yet none of our spouses seem to think they have anything to do with it. We have no control over others. Do not hide it from friends, family, and other support networks because you will need emotional support. Then, he told her that it really was over and that he was leaving. I said I was going home and going to bed. And I believe those that take the stance and putting all their eggs in one basket to explain away their spouses affairs by attributing the term, MLC or sex addiction, are fooling themselves. But you did the right thing impressing upon her you are not going down without a fight. For me: Anxiety / depression / codependency i.e. I should have stayed neutral sympathetic to her and stopped there. I am the husband who was abandoned by a wayward wife. That on top of HIS lawyer telling him it was going to be a long drawn out divorce and that my lawyer was going for a huge sum (because they talked at the court house plus he knew his history) I believed scared the crap out of him i.e. Youre doing lots of stuff correctly. The middle of June I had enough. If Id been treated the way you SAY you have been treated, then I would have left. This from a woman who has been married 50 plus years to the bully that is my FIL. Another thing that is different about these situations is that the runaway spouse announces the news during the most seemingly mundane time. Me: Silence. But nothing worked. But, once married, Gianfranco was often away on business, and his family made Kelly's life a misery. My son is the most easy going non-abrasive man you could ever hope to meet. Why are you leaving your well being and your future up to the whims of a person who has betrayed, lied and cheated on you? I was too clingy. he tries to avoid seeing you when he can But they knew. I apparently spend too much. Not so much at the pointy end of $ and nonsense. runaway bride (verb) When a guy drops his girlfriend off right in front of the movie theater so she can buy the tickets to a movie they plan to see while he parks the car, but she "accidentally" buys tickets to a chick flick instead. If Switzerland did not exist, much of the damage could have either been stopped in its tracks and reversed or minimised. According to her, Mason negotiated a deal for $500,000 and then used the money to buy a house, in his name only, from which he later evicted Wilbanks. H: Yes I know, but you wont trust me again. So I called bullshit on it and later he admitted to grasping at straws as an excuse. I dont excuse her selfish choices and destructive behavior. I gave him every opportunity to tell me how unhappy he was going home and going to be expected made... 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