So a couple may have originally thought they wanted to have a big wedding with lots of guests but then end up going down the route of eloping. NTA. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. The father revealed that their family had an agreement that the parents would give their children each $10K to be spent on the wedding or a down payment on their first home. In our culture, the wedding is a very small event with close family and a few friends but the wedding reception is a large (200-300 people) come and go or come and stay until the end event with food, music, dancing, etc. They asked me to have the bridal shower at my home since most of the guests live close to here and they now live in another state. We loved her since the first day we met her. The author of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children. Saul Tolstych. OP is NTA.". I have regretfully declined weddings I couldn't afford to attend. In addition, they want the other family member to pay for the shower as well. I would not marry a man who condoned this behavior from his mother. Yes. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. An absolute blast. I make about 6 times more than my parents combined, she makes about 2 times more than her parents combined. A few months ago we said to our family and friends that only a few select people will be making speeches, and giving them a fairly strict time limit. You can change your preferences. Do not discuss anything about wedding planning with your p. Plan this thing with your fianc. ._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa{margin-top:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._3EpRuHW1VpLFcj-lugsvP_{color:inherit}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa svg._31U86fGhtxsxdGmOUf3KOM{color:inherit;fill:inherit;padding-right:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._2mk9m3mkUAeEGtGQLNCVsJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;color:inherit} Judgement_Bot_AITA 1 min. Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction.. Privacy Policy. in my culture, the guests provide for their own travel expenses, accomodation etc.. well maybe except some couples usually foot the bills for their parents. "AITA for uninviting my family from my wedding because they want me to share it with my sister?" The OP is currently trying to plan her wedding around the pandemic. Read this._3K2ydhts9_ES4s9UpcXqBi{display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%} This is a huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, This is spot on. Lol. 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Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of Wedding Planner Robin Weil. Or allow/support others doing the same. Skip to first sitch: 20:03. He doesnt like that we arent invited but hes not turning down a free vacation either., After she invited him and his boys and made all the plans and purchased tickets she told him shed pay for their accommodations but he had to help pay for everything else., He barely makes enough money to cover his own bills and his part of our shared bills (mortgage & utilities). Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Therefore, whenever we need to pay for something, I pay 67% of it, and she's paying the remaining 33%. ago NTA. (33)X; 2X/3X = 0. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My mother thinks I'm being an asshole because I don't want her to bring one of her friends to my wedding. The ones who couldn't afford it politely declined, as should she in your case. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. That mean everything had to be canceled- most of which wasn't refundable. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Especially when backing off is not an option? A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isnt entitled to this money, its seen more as the parents generous offer. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. There is ALOT of background info with about 6 - 7 years worth of information but the TLDR version is this: Back in September 2016, my mom matched with a person on an old person dating website. Hey! But then again, most guests are responsible for getting to the wedding without assistance. (And it goes both ways, if you move across the country you can't really expect people to show up for everything, and you can't be upset when you don't get crowds for your wedding). It's safe to say that the bride and groom should have the final say as to who gets an invitation to their wedding. ._1QwShihKKlyRXyQSlqYaWW{height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:bottom}._2X6EB3ZhEeXCh1eIVA64XM{margin-left:3px}._1jNPl3YUk6zbpLWdjaJT1r{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;display:inline-block;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;padding:0 4px}._1jNPl3YUk6zbpLWdjaJT1r._39BEcWjOlYi1QGcJil6-yl{padding:0}._2hSecp_zkPm_s5ddV2htoj{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;display:inline-block;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;margin-left:0;padding:0 4px}._2hSecp_zkPm_s5ddV2htoj._39BEcWjOlYi1QGcJil6-yl{padding:0}._1wzhGvvafQFOWAyA157okr{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;box-sizing:border-box;line-height:14px;padding:0 4px}._3BPVpMSn5b1vb1yTQuqCRH,._1wzhGvvafQFOWAyA157okr{display:inline-block;height:16px}._3BPVpMSn5b1vb1yTQuqCRH{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-body);border-radius:50%;margin-left:5px;text-align:center;width:16px}._2cvySYWkqJfynvXFOpNc5L{height:10px;width:10px}.aJrgrewN9C8x1Fusdx4hh{padding:2px 8px}._1wj6zoMi6hRP5YhJ8nXWXE{font-size:14px;padding:7px 12px}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y{border-radius:20px}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y:hover{opacity:.85}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y:active{transform:scale(.95)} I always say have your wedding wherever you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend. Anyhoo)., NTA OP. CareyHope/Getty Images. Who on earth expects the bride and groom to pay for their flights? They said they would pay for the shower. Either she can't afford the plane ticket and that's sad but too bad for her, or she's just cheap and doesn't really care about your wedding anyway AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! If SIL can't afford the ticket then she can choose not to come. Something people would spend $40K on and walk away with no regret, just beautiful memories. There is one topic that I see mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part. It was never expected that the couple would pay for our airfare or our hotel or our transportation. Half are now flying to the place we are getting married, and paying for their own plane tickets. NTA.~suzris. AITA for not paying for my fiancee's wedding guests, resulting in her wanting to cancel the wedding altogether? ago. If the planning would have ended with me having more guests than she would've had, then I would've willingly covered entirely the cost of the extra guests coming from my side. as long as you are both perfectly okay with her not coming, NTA. .ehsOqYO6dxn_Pf9Dzwu37{margin-top:0;overflow:visible}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu{height:24px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu{border-radius:2px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:focus,._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:hover{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-navIconFaded10);outline:none}._38GxRFSqSC-Z2VLi5Xzkjy{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT{border-top:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);cursor:pointer;padding:8px 16px 8px 8px;text-transform:none}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT:hover{background-color:#0079d3;border:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-body)} They've only got themselves to blame. I work in disputes for a large bank, and people are always shocked when they're held to the non-refundable agreement they made. We went to two out of state weddings in less than 6 months. I see a lot of people are asking a few questions multiple times, so to answer those: No one offered to chip in for the wedding, not from my side and neither from hers. Dec. 21, 2020. cf; pf . You're not the asshole. "Only Smart Brides Save Money": Fianc Loses It After Finding Out His Wife-To-Be Spent $400 Of Her Own Money On A Wedding Dress Ieva Gailit and Ilona Balinait In an ideal world, planning a wedding would be a thrill. Two of the most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment. If yall are engaged, yall are family. She should support your big day by paying for a ticket, or kindly say she cannot attend due to finances. So a couple may have originally thought they wanted to have a big wedding with lots of guests but then end up going down the route of eloping. For more information, please see our After many years working in the service industry, in many different States, there is one thing a lot of people don't realize. Image credits: Ryan Polei (not the actual image). It is actually just normal to pay for your own wedding costs. Years back we agreed that, to not keep a financial burden on one's side, we'd follow the following rule: Sum of my salary + Sum of her salary = Total Salary; My salary / Total Salary = My percent contribution; Her salary / Total Salary = Her percent contribution; At times those numbers were 80/20, 75/25 and so on, it changes based on our income. Press J to jump to the feed. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? Specifically, the wedding date is set for Halloween because OP herself (as well as her partner, a 30-year-old . Look at the OP's reply to one of the first comments. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. I did not argue with my sister because my best friend wasn't invitedI just wasn't sure how else to title this without it being too wordy. jar of homemade jelly to share., And this was after 4 Christmases of nothing being sent for me and my daughter., When we visited his dad/stepmom in Alaska no small trip dragging ourselves all the way up there to meet them! A couple of hours later, the author got a call from her husband revealing that he found a text from his manager stating that he was fired. Son Tells His Parents Hell Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out Theyre Paying For Sisters Education Yet Didnt Pay For His, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" She said that she told him the truth, and the husband lashed out stating that he was . I can't talk about my 'lifestyle' because she doesn't want to . literally whenever I would start talking both of them would start scrolling on their phones., Im not even kidding. We started planning our wedding after being engaged for close to 1 year now, and we've reached the budgeting part, which is tricky to say the least. While I disagree with this imo and would never do it. The parents offered her money under an either/or scenario, so maybe they should say whilst they are disappointed that first 5K has been lost as a result of being non-refundable, they will hold the rest until such time as the couple are ready to put a deposit on a house. Image credits: _Bluenose Girl (not the actual image). AITA for not paying for my daughter's wedding after it was postponed? I don't think it has to be said but to be clear I completely understand that this was unforseen and a very stressful time for the both of them. Me and my fiance carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules. Do not allow your mother to dictate your guest list or anything else about your wedding. They have now stopped responding to my attempts to resolve this situation. After it's AITA for not getting along with my sister in law? .Rd5g7JmL4Fdk-aZi1-U_V{transition:all .1s linear 0s}._2TMXtA984ePtHXMkOpHNQm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;margin-bottom:4px}.CneW1mCG4WJXxJbZl5tzH{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:none;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:middle;margin-bottom:2px;margin-left:4px;cursor:pointer}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover ._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{display:inline-block}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs{border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B.IeceazVNz_gGZfKXub0ak,._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk{margin-top:25px;left:-9px}._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:focus-within,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:hover{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border:none;padding:8px 8px 0}._25yWxLGH4C6j26OKFx8kD5{display:inline}._2YsVWIEj0doZMxreeY6iDG{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;padding:4px 6px}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;margin-left:auto;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg,._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq{font-weight:700;color:#ff4500;text-transform:uppercase;margin-right:4px}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq,.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-weight:400;-ms-flex-preferred-size:100%;flex-basis:100%;margin-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX{margin-top:6px}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._3MAHaXXXXi9Xrmc_oMPTdP{margin-top:4px}
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