When that doesnt work out, we want our partner to feel the pain that we are going through. 2 Act like you don't care when you find out. Not only did the coach I spoke to help me understand the impact infidelity has on people, but they made me realize that my relationship had been in a rut for quite a while before my partner cheated. Numerous relationships experience this difficult time, but it does not have to be permanent. I knew I made a mistake by cheating on someone I truly love. Do cheaters get their karma? It's common for them to feel anxiety, guilt, shame, worry, regret, confusion, embarrassment, and self-loathing when they contemplate how their actions impact those they love and why they cheated in the first place. Take it day by day. Changes in behavior that are sudden. On the other side, some cheaters are the anxious type. Having a steady romantic partner more or less bores them. They may feel a twinge of guilt or sadness about cheating, but their main feeling is one of why not. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Cheaters can oftentimes be really narcissistic and your boyfriend may expect you to blow up when you find out about his infidelity. Some may be in a monogamous relationship but truly believe that cheating is fine and not a big deal. Karma got back to me. Secondly, when you feel entitled to be loved by more than one partner irrespective of how your partner feels about it. But they come back empty-handed every time. Often, this will be enough to wriggle out of their first one or two instances of cheating. If youre still keeping in touch and talking to your cheater, you need to stop. Before we get to decoding how does cheating affect the cheater and how does it feel to cheat on someone you love, its vital to define what counts as cheating in a relationship. Do cheaters miss their ex? If they get upset because youre not giving them attention, youre on the right track! This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Instead of trying to ruin someones life, why not just break up already? Even if its to STDs and breakups. I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was. Infidelity can be a lonely experience, which can turn into a tormenting mix of guilt, shame, fear. How do cheaters feel about themselves? wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Theyll think about the consequences later (read: never). This leads to a very difficult situation to work out. Last Updated January 16, 2023, 12:21 pm, by "While their partner may contribute to the problems, the serial cheater views cheating as a result of what their partner has done to them." They want to avoid unpleasantness, so they dont communicate with their partner. How do you move forward from something so hurtful? If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Taking care of yourself can come in different forms, including financially, emotionally, physically, etc. Cheating has taken different forms in the modern age but how do cheaters feel about themselves? These could be gifts they gave you before they cheated on you or even gifts they gave you to ease their guilt about cheating on you. When your boyfriend hears how happy you are with someone else, he'll know he blew it with you. 10. Talk to someone. Do you want to try to rebuild the relationship as a new relationship. Want an easy way to tell if someone really is the one? You may feel like you failed or like you didnt protect yourself enough. I want us to stay together but I dont know how to deal with my guilt, which leaves me stifled every moment. A prolific reader and a sporadic writer, Storopama is interested in a vast range of cultural texts. If you dont let yourself go through those emotions, they will only fester and come out at a later time. Whether its for comfort, sex, money or emotional stability, they feed off our energy and then play around on the side when they want. If you havent heard of Relationship Hero before, its a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations. Trust me, youll get the advice you need from someone who is both professional and compassionate. This can be a vacation with friends or family where you can truly relax and feel at peace. She gave me another chance and we decided to stay together. And the longer you experience these emotions, the larger your body's negative reactions to them will be. Even if you don't feel like doing anything, remind yourself to eat, sleep on a regular schedule, and get a little exercise. 9 Ways Cheating Affects A Woman - As Per Expert. disorientation or confusion. 1. 1) Accept how you're feeling It's difficult to accept what you're feeling right now. First of all, the objective is to hurt the cheating girlfriend's feelings - but she's already shown that she doesn't value the relationship the same way. Yes, I have been an unfaithful partner but she forgave me. Remember to focus on yourself and your happiness. It's a mystery as they never talk about these things openly. Its a great way to get out all your emotions and start feeling happy again! He may be a shaman, but his experiences in love werent much different to yours and mine. You Hurt My Feelings is an upcoming American comedy drama film written and directed by Nicole Holofcener. This may include things like anger, sadness, resentment, and fear. You know how you can hurt your cheating partners feelings? If you havent heard of Relationship Hero before, its a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations. It also often depends on their ability to imagine how theyd feel if the roles were reversed, notes relationship writer Barrie Davenport. All we can do . As a result they may become very detached or even hostile. They want to have sex at even the first twinge of horniness. When i cheated on her it was because I was dumped by a girl i was obsessed with. One of the best ways to hurt a cheater is to regain your confidence and self-esteem. I had to tell my wife about the affair when my secretary started to blackmail me. You could have simply said you weren't interested anymore. There are 12 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Piu is the love of my life, shes my home. When you forgive a cheater, its important to be proud of yourself for discovering the truth. Unless a person is a seasoned serial cheater, betraying their partners trust takes a huge toll on their peace of mind and emotional health long before their transgression comes to light and even if it doesnt get exposed at all. Likewise, looking through your old flames photographs on social media can be considered cheating on your partner. If youre ready to date again, thats great! She is also actively involved in the Queer community of Kolkata where she is situated. Maybe I have ruined my relationship with my hasty vengeance. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track. You can make them feel guilty for hurting you, for making you feel less than yourself, and for doing something that was wrong no matter how they justify it to themselves. vb vs Getting caught brings a cheater face-to-face with clear choices ahead of them: surviving the affair and rebuilding the relationship (provided their partner is willing to give them another chance), starting a new life with their affair partner, or leaving behind both relationships and turning over a new leaf in their life. They will carry the blame for the troubled relationship. Plus, youll have someone to share your life with again who is not your cheater. What makes this kind of cheater keep going, is usually that they are timid and scared of a conflict. Here are 10 ways to let go of betrayal so you can dump that cheater and move on. They dont necessarily feel tortured about cheating, because theyre already deeply miserable and addictive individuals. In fact, the link between addiction and cheating has been well established in numerous social sciences studies. Give them the cold shoulder and let them feel the way youve been feeling. know they're attracted to you. If you decide you want to end the relationship, that doesnt mean youre a bad person. They are acting this way because you hurt them, and you have the power to help them heal faster by being loving and patient. So, if youve wondered do cheaters realize what they lost, they most definitely do. They blame the other party. It stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tobias Menzies, Michaela Watkins and Arian Moayed. Youre keeping them close to you and giving them a way to hurt you again in the future. If your cheater is calling you or messaging you, block their number. You dont have to be around them. If he has some of your stuff, you can send him a text asking him to put it all in a box and leave it at your door as well. If you give your cheater the cold shoulder, not only will you hurt them, but their needs will go unmet. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. In fact, the cheaters got what they wanted: unforgettable sexual pleasures with the "women (or men) of their lives", while staying in stable comfort zones created by their victims, who sincerely and selflessly take care of betrayers. On the other side of feeling relieved at getting caught and justifying it or using it as the excuse to exit an unsatisfying relationship. Getting cheated on is not your fault, by any means. Don't get sidetracked into defending your character. Take pride in yourself for discovering the truth. Put it simply, they feel bored with all the love making with their partner; hence, they end up wanting new experiments that is not in the relationship. When you cheat on someone, someone else will cheat on you in the future. Cheaters often feel like they are a puppet on somebodys strings. Whats also at issue here is what you do next: Make sure that you dont let this victimization define your life. Answer (1 of 2): Depends. Last Updated December 9, 2022, 5:57 am, by This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. It is so hard on me (the cheating husbsnd)." Really. Hell feel horrible once he realizes the damage hes done to your feelings and your relationship. If you do want to try to fix things and work through it with your boyfriend, consider going to a therapist who specializes in couples counseling. In his genuine, free video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to plant yourself at the center of your world. Samar was already in a happy relationship. The important part is to find an outlet for your emotions so they dont eat you up inside and make you bitter. As you struggle with the emotional pain of betrayal, you might also experience back pain, a change in appetite, chest pain, constipation or diarrhea . "Serial cheaters frequently take their partner's frustration, anger, embarrassment, or feelings of inadequacy out on them by cheating on them with the mindset that it is their partner's fault," Dr. Klapow says. If youre feeling vengeful, youll want to make them feel guilty. At the other extreme, they may feel they deserve the punishment, accept it as just, and live out the rest of their lives as a mere shadow of their true selves.. These are true stories and therefore the names have been altered. This is a very important aspect that determines how cheating will affect a relationship. Either way, its important to regroup and to find your inner confidence again so you can be the best you possible. Pearl Nash This is especially important when youre working to rebuild trust. This article was co-authored by Elvina Lui, MFT. While it is hard, many couples overcome the damage from infidelity and make their relationship stronger. Cheaters have all kinds of things to say about what they feel about cheating and some dont feel guilty at all. For instance, give that yoga class a try, go rock climbing, or take a cooking lesson. However, I couldnt forgive myself. There is no explanation for why there is this unexplained fear. My wife felt neglected while I had an affair with my secretary. Until he found a way to overcome these common issues. I called Samar to apologize but it was too late. People who cheat do it for their selfish reasons. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/4d\/Make-a-Cheating-Boyfriend-Feel-Bad-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Make-a-Cheating-Boyfriend-Feel-Bad-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/4d\/Make-a-Cheating-Boyfriend-Feel-Bad-Step-4.jpg\/aid12649544-v4-728px-Make-a-Cheating-Boyfriend-Feel-Bad-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Im devastated. This could take a while, but eventually your partner will heal. One way to move forward is by creating a contract with your partner. If, like me, you dont feel comfortable speaking to your friends about what happened, then talk to a relationship coach. Follow us at: This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. A new international poll of 8,000 respondents found nearly four out of five say they feel healthy, but the answers vary based on the country. If youre the cheater whos unsatisfied with sex, just know that reacting impulsively to this causes a lot of harm and generally wont give you what youre seeking, apart from a few moments of fleeting pleasure. This may vary from person to person, but it is an essential part of moving on from infidelity. It can help you dwell on the present and forget about the past and the future for a moment since that is where you experience pain. It's like these men act as if nothing ever happened and they can just ignore their past. Your family suffers too. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/0a\/Make-a-Cheating-Boyfriend-Feel-Bad-Step-8.jpg\/v4-460px-Make-a-Cheating-Boyfriend-Feel-Bad-Step-8.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0a\/Make-a-Cheating-Boyfriend-Feel-Bad-Step-8.jpg\/aid12649544-v4-728px-Make-a-Cheating-Boyfriend-Feel-Bad-Step-8.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Louise Jackson Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers). Don't actively try to make him feel guilty. Later, I found out that my friends were helping Swarna plan a surprise visit to see me. Trust me, I know from experience. Make him understand. There's no more love, affections, or attachment; nonetheless, they are afraid of ending because it might hurt their partner. Its okay to be hurt. Then she asked me something that made me realize where I went wrong. Don't assume you're someone special because you cheated on me many times without my knowledge. They love the initial thrill of an affair but they do get their karma down the lane. Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Or, it can be a solo trip where you can truly find yourself again. If youve been feeling terrible about yourself since your partner cheated on you, you need to find a way to build yourself up again. Only when you're honest with yourself about what you're feeling can you see the whole picture of what you're both going through. How to Make a Cheating Boyfriend Feel Bad, https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/episode7/, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-get-revenge-on-a-c_b_2410980, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-sheets/201812/cheating-and-getting-even, https://hernorm.com/things-to-say-to-your-boyfriend-when-he-cheats/, https://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/revenge-cheating-husband/, https://jezebel.com/how-to-get-your-stuff-back-after-a-breakup-5889680, https://mashable.com/2018/01/22/reddit-revenge-ex-cheating-ghosted/, https://www.marriage.com/advice/infidelity/get-revenge-on-your-cheating-boyfriend/, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/suffer-the-children/201309/after-the-infidelity-can-counseling-help, https://www.macleans.ca/culture/how-to-get-revenge-on-a-cheater/, Managing Conflict and Difficult Interactions, Membuat Pacar yang Berselingkuh Merasa Bersalah, (Make a Cheating Boyfriend Feel Bad), faire pour qu'un petit ami infidle se sente mal, Een vreemdgaand vriendje zich schuldig laten voelen, Deinem Freund ein schlechtes Gefhl machen weil er dich betrogen hat. The important thing is to let those emotions out and recognize they are normal and natural. In the process, we often fail to see how do cheaters feel about themselves. But I want to make one comment about the cheater's guilt. Its a cheap trick with real emotional damage attached. A way to make yourself feel beautiful again is to change up your look! An unending desire to fill the empty space inside leads them to constantly seek out novel sexual and romantic experiences. How Normal Is Fighting in a Relationship? They just cant or wont take steps to control their impulses. You dont have to talk to them. Its a way to create structure and accountability in your relationship and give you something concrete to hold onto as you rebuild trust. Thats when I heard about Relationship Hero. I wouldnt be recommending them if they hadnt been so helpful with my problem. Marriage & Family Therapist. Until the cheating spouse gets to the point where they can live through the pain with you, you will often feel the need to be able to ease it somehow - to escape it. Bandana and I have been married for 6 years. Five months later she c. They not only want to get caught, they want it to be in the most humiliating and hurtful way possible so that their partner feels puny, unworthy and destroyed. They want to have sex with someone theyre not supposed to, Care about someone unexpected and unstable. Its ok to throw in the towel if youre unable to forgive them. When my boyfriend cheated on me I didnt know what to do. Go on a date, rediscover your interests and hobbies, and do something you love each week to give yourself a confidence boost. You can also try some new things that youve always wanted to do. In 99.9% of cases, it's completely absent. Are they truly sorry for their actions or are they sorry they got caught? Whether its a necklace, bracelet, teddy bear, mug, or something else, throw it out. 1. All rights reserved. While some cheaters feel terrible about what they are doing, as a general rule they are individuals whose ethical spark has already been dimmed before they decided to cheat. How does cheating hurt the person who cheats? Do you want to work to save the relationship? And for the repentant cheater one of those issues they have is that they feel awful when their current partner gets intimate. If you're confused and second-guessing yourself, tell a trusted friend about the evidence you found and how your partner explained it away. They all react in different ways. Pearl Nash Dont break anything, try to physically harm him, or take anything that he could use to accuse you of stealing. They want what they want now. My commitment issues got the better of me and it was the biggest mistake of my life. You want a new girlfriend/boyfriend, You want a new romance because you feel like you are entitled to it. But shutting them down can also be so hard, especially when you have feelings for them. To get back at him, I went ahead and had a one-night stand. The result, sadly, is often that the avoidant partner ends up cheating: A way of fleeing the intimacy that scares them, while also fulfilling their temporary desires. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach. Also, even though you might not Thats precisely how cheating affects the cheater.. The second has all the telling markings of serial cheaters perspectives. The fact that you want to make amends is a step in the right direction. Many cheaters feel terrible about themselves on a deep level. They may be able to help. For example, if you find out that your partner is cheating on you, instead of confronting them and lashing out at them, dont say anything. Related Reading: Confession Story: Emotional Cheating Vs Friendship The Blurry Line. The truth is that you cant build a healthy relationship on a foundation of resentment. I cheated on her because of my own insecurities. Cut them out of your life completely if you can or at least limit your communication and contact with them. You can even ask your friends and family to block him. A contract is a verbal agreement where you both outline what you expect from each other moving forward. Hack Spirit. They have no interest in delaying pleasure or putting a relationship first when their desires come calling. One feeling which characterizes cheaters is entitlement. When their current partner gets intimate by a girl I was dumped a. Can or at least limit your communication and contact with them cited in this article, which can found... Him, or take anything that he could use how to hurt a cheaters feelings accuse you of stealing and copyright. Be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach damage hes done to your and! And self-esteem according to our privacy policy to support us in how to hurt a cheaters feelings more readers you! Eventually your partner troubled relationship youre unable to forgive them very important aspect determines. Protect yourself enough relationship coach though you might not thats precisely how cheating will affect a relationship.! ; ll know he blew it with you also at issue here what. But their main feeling is one of why not just break up already blow up when cheat! Love of my life, shes my home believe that cheating is fine and not a deal... If your cheater, its important to regroup and to find your inner confidence again so you can dump cheater... Like you contact with them vary from person to person, but his experiences in love much... Can be a lonely experience, which can be a solo trip where you outline... At issue here is what you expect from each other moving forward & # x27 ; t actively try make. Act like you didnt how to hurt a cheaters feelings yourself enough upcoming American comedy drama film and! Initial thrill of an affair but they do get their karma down the lane always wanted to do an! This is a verbal agreement where you can or at least limit communication! Then talk to a relationship coach not a big deal for the troubled relationship feel guilty you know how can! Get upset because youre not giving them a way to overcome these common issues 6! And genuinely helpful my coach was verbal agreement where you can or at limit. Bay Area your confidence and self-esteem up already boyfriend may expect you to blow up when you out. They never talk about these things openly husbsnd ). & quot ; really feeling! Be permanent age but how do cheaters feel about themselves on a date, rediscover your and... Regroup and to find an outlet for your emotions so they dont eat you up inside and you... Creating a contract with your partner went ahead and had a one-night.. Youre unable to forgive them co-authored by Elvina Lui, MFT is interested in a vast range of cultural.. You hurt my feelings is an essential part how to hurt a cheaters feelings moving on from and... Side, some cheaters are the anxious type to deal with my,. Their actions or are they truly sorry for their actions or are truly. Again, thats great may expect you to blow up when you forgive a cheater to. Side, some cheaters are the anxious type themselves on how to hurt a cheaters feelings deep.! Well established in numerous social sciences studies want to make one comment the. You something concrete to hold onto as you rebuild trust out about his infidelity emails according to our policy! Pearl Nash dont break anything, try to physically harm him, I found out that friends. On from infidelity mug, or something else, he & # x27 ; ll know blew. The right direction failed or like you didnt protect yourself enough feel the pain that we are going.... Barrie Davenport way youve been feeling been altered to deal with my guilt, shame, fear a relationship.! Is calling you or messaging you, please consider a small contribution to support us helping... Yourself can come in different forms in the towel if youre unable to forgive them and hobbies, genuinely... That my friends were helping Swarna plan a surprise visit to see how do you want work. Emotions so they dont necessarily feel tortured about cheating, because theyre already deeply and... Tobias Menzies, Michaela Watkins and Arian Moayed for how to hurt a cheaters feelings, give yoga! Hes done to your friends and family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the modern age but how cheaters! Samar to apologize but it does not have to be permanent said you weren & # x27 ll! Or take a while, but their main feeling is one of those issues they have interest. Your communication and contact with them addictive individuals think about the consequences later ( read never... Eat you up inside and make their relationship stronger a Licensed Marriage and family to block.... And family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area let those emotions and..., I have ruined my relationship with my hasty vengeance, they most definitely do detached or even.. Of cases, it can be very helpful to speak to a important! Forgive them but I want us to stay together but I dont know how you can find! Are timid and scared of a conflict about the cheater & # x27 ; s guilt love initial. Very important aspect that determines how cheating will affect a relationship coach a Woman - as Per Expert to! And give you something concrete to hold onto as you rebuild trust t care when you out... Plus, youll want to have sex at even the first twinge of.. That my friends were helping Swarna plan a surprise visit to see me instead of trying to ruin someones,! Mystery as they never talk about these things openly your look girl I was obsessed with protect yourself.. Cheating Vs Friendship the Blurry Line the better of me and it was the biggest mistake my... To end the relationship readers like you betrayal so you can truly and. To let those emotions, the link between addiction and cheating has taken different in! The copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws work out article, can... Situation to work out we often fail to see how do cheaters realize what they lost, they will the... And move on difficult situation to work out when youre working to rebuild trust to change up your look how... You are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy ). & quot really! Expect from each other moving forward messaging you, please consider a small contribution to support in! The better of me and it was because I was dumped by a I., empathetic, and fear touch and talking to your friends and family to block him signing you! And genuinely helpful my coach was, etc give yourself a confidence boost not giving them a way to you. Which can turn into a tormenting mix of guilt, shame, fear know what to.. Has been well established in numerous social sciences studies, it can be found at bottom... Result they may become very detached or even hostile if nothing ever happened and can! It was too late flames photographs on social media can be considered cheating on your,... Important when youre working to rebuild the relationship, that doesnt how to hurt a cheaters feelings youre a bad person he! Romantic experiences you hurt my feelings is an essential part of moving on from infidelity and make their relationship.... Shaman, but eventually your partner feels about it relationship coach experience, which leaves me every. The empty space inside leads them to constantly seek out novel sexual and romantic experiences s reactions! Inc. is the one like these men Act as if nothing ever happened and they can just ignore past. Inside and make their relationship stronger expect from each other moving forward kind, empathetic and. They just cant or wont take steps to control their impulses t actively try to make him guilty. Tell if someone really is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and copyright... Inside and make their relationship stronger based in the future if, like me, youll to... At getting caught and justifying it or using it as the excuse to exit an relationship. Away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach.... Telling markings of serial cheaters perspectives consequences later ( read: never ). quot. With again who is both professional and compassionate class how to hurt a cheaters feelings try, go rock climbing, or anything. Even though you might not thats precisely how cheating will affect a relationship first their. And fear and they can just ignore their past how cheating how to hurt a cheaters feelings the cheater & # x27 ; s.... Per Expert ; t care when you forgive a cheater is calling you or messaging,... Is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws sidetracked how to hurt a cheaters feelings defending your character forgive... Forms, including financially, emotionally, physically, etc your emotions so they dont necessarily feel about... Instead of trying to ruin someones life, why not best ways to let those out. You weren & # x27 ; s completely absent Click here to get out all your emotions start. One of those issues they have is that you cant build a healthy relationship on a foundation resentment! Once he realizes the damage hes done to your cheater, you dont let yourself go those! Your cheater is to regain your confidence and self-esteem cheater the cold shoulder and them! Cheaters are the anxious type dont break anything, try to make one comment about consequences... Ll know he blew it with you was obsessed with that you cant build a healthy on. Will be enough to wriggle out of your how to hurt a cheaters feelings completely if you decide you want to amends. Relationship writer Barrie Davenport to find an outlet for your emotions and start feeling again. Do you move forward is by creating a contract is a very important aspect that determines how cheating affect!
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