-Amy, Mine watched TV with his face pressed against the screen because he couldnt hear it over my pain noises! Once labor begins, it can take between 10 to 24 hours (or more) to progress through the three stages of labor before your baby is born. If that doesn't work,I have two thoughts. He's in sales and always has social work meetings where drinks are served, too, which doesn't help. DH is not allowed to drink at all right now..my life and his unborn child are going to be in his hands when he drives me to the hospital. Bringing an extra pair of pants or a sweater might keep you more comfortable for what could be a lengthy labor. Dad learned something very important about the fathers role in childbirth that day. And yes, I actually fix my hair. When my DH was starting up his business last year we were going through huge financial stress he would often have 2-3 beer over a day. There is absolutely a possibility she'll go into labor and need him. Thank you! husband drunk when i went into labor. Many people who struggle with alcoholism are reluctant to accept treatment on their own. It also happened to be the night of our annual street party. I dont remember anything I said or did after that. ! lol But overall, he was my rock through both of my labors and he never left my side, so I guess I cant complain too much. Amy Dickinson. I went home, took a shower, fed the cats, and came back a few hours later to strange looks from the nurses who cared for my baby while I was gone. This, my friends, is truly a gift. How long has it been since you had a drink? I remember thinking . Then, after I finally pushed my baby out (an hour and a half of pushing), he complained about being exhausted. Don't do it right after work when he's looking forward to sitting and unwinding. that actually is true, no one under a certain age . It's your body's way of protecting your baby . What happens if you have an emergency at home one night and your husband is drunk? Phil, was at this point, fading fast. Money was scarce. , around 2% of adults globally have a drinking problem thats over one billion people! (this part was planned, hospital rule, only 2 in the delivery room besides the mom- so her mom and I attended) I was mentally exhausted by the time the baby was born at 6:44 pm. I think there should be another thread about crap husands pull after the baby is born. Your DH's drinking is outside what is healthy, for him, for your relationship, and for your new family. Nesting. After a long labor and birthing a 10 lb baby naturally, my husband, told me that the room smelled like a deer was gutted in it. Diagnosing alcoholism can be difficult because it often goes unnoticed by family and friends. Last week, I made a simple request on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. For my last birth and for this one I have been an hour away from the hospital. IM IN LABOR, PEOPLE!!! of the issue and will look for a solution. Hours in labor: Never went into labor! When they dont have a limit, they will drink more than they need to and will surely be uncontrollable. He went back to sleep. 1 Answer. Mines more funny than bad: I went to the hospital 7 weeks early and had an emergency c-section because of HELLP syndrome. So, they may play the trick on you. Raspberry leaf tea is supposed to help with uterine contractions, reported Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond, though there's some contradictory evidence as to whether or not it . When he got home, he dropped his phone in a stock pot that was soaking in the sink. Mortifying. My MIL came by after her work at 3pm to bring me food, saw the mess of family and refused to leave till I was tucked into a room with the baby across the building from the birth family. Sis takes me to the hospital and gets hold of husband. Andhe bowled the only perfect game of his entire life! Thats when the smell of a thousand beers hit me. Needless to say, when, four weeks later he was resting a pack of frozen peas on his testicles from the vasectomy hed breezily put his hand up for, my sympathy levels were small to non-existent. My now ex husband left me home to go to army reserves for the day as i labored home alone. Needless to say, he was NOT happy about that statement but I don't care. He would still have had alcohol in his system and in hindsight, a cab or ambulance would have been a better mode of transport. Have you thought about what your day-to-day lifewill be like? I jumped on board. If the birth of his child is not enough to deter him from drinking for a few weeks, then he has a serious problem. I mean you did what she asked, right??? Its so crazy, right? And often I wonder if this is healthy. (I don't think he would like that job much!). Sept. 28, 2016. Joanish, My husband grew up on a cattle ranch, and during labor with our first he very confidently announced to the nurse that he wasnt nervous at all because Ive seen this a million times with cows. In the throes of that hell my husband turns to me and says, Im about to head out and meet up with the fellas. I agree not to do it when he's about to grab a drink because then he will just get irritated with you. Labour won't "sober him up" and make it safe for him to drive. We called to tell him to come immediately. I was in labor (induced) for 48 hours while my husband was uncomfortable in his chair and feeling nauseous from a sandwich he ate. I think your husband should be able to handle 3-5 weeks of not drinking in exchange for a healthy baby and wife. Would you trust him to drive? He moved there from the recliner when I got up to walk down the hall to get myself a drink. After being in labor all day and delivering at 9:00 at night we got almost no sleep. My husband fell in a deep sleep and would not wake up to me calling him. Then he gets home and wants a couple more glasses of wine. around 9 he came to bed, moved me over and tried to go to sleep. I don't know how or when you've approached him about this, but I think if you haven't you need to make sure it is on the weekend when he's had time to relax. Alcoholism is quite difficult to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. He arrived at the hospital with an emerald ring to give her..because after all, it was Mothers Day, and I was born in May. Because she was in labor, he should have endured what, no food, no water, no bathroom, what is good enough? Our son was born in the morning. I was scared. For example, someone might have a problem with drinking but deny it to themselves or their loved ones to avoid admitting they have a drinking problem. They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. While at the hospital, my husband (then boyfriend), wasnt allowed into the theater with me, so he decided to go watch rugby at the pub. I Just know I need someone calm and sober with me when labor starts, not someone with booze breath. Clearly this was ridiculous. Many, many people struggle with this same issue, and there is help available if he chooses to use it. It wasnt my normal doctor and she didnt believe me when I said that my four weeks early baby was estimated at around 9lbs 14 OAS two days prioryeah, I have huge kids, no gestational diabetesanyway So, she ignored that and made me incisions too small and couldnt get the baby out, despite the epidural it was PAINFUL and after ten minutes of yanking (not kidding) and vacuuming and RIPPING MY INCISION TO THE SIDE, I was screaming and crying. The hospital was an easy drive. You should also try to increase your intake of healthy food and exercise regularly, as this will help you stay healthy both physically and mentally. Wondering how? I come into the living room and give her a kiss. It was his decision. LOVED reading all of the stories I thought mine was rare It was our first child. Second, how important is it to your husband that he be at the birth? He's turning 30 - his birthday isn't some magical day where responsibilities don't apply to him I'm currently TTC and my husband already knows that he isn't getting drunk during my entire final month (36 weeks on) unless there is a plan for someone else to drive me. And then I would unleash hell. When the guy on the other end asks so, how are you doing? because he probably heard my whimpering/low moaning in the background, my husband replies well my wife is actually in labor and were on the way to the hospital I think the guy on the phone call was speechless at first, and then smartly ended the conversation so my husband couldI dont know focus on driving through the blizzard and getting his wife to the hospital!?! So not only did my husband eat an Indian take-away while I was in the throws of labour, he told me my hair looked a mess. Im 38 weeks pregnant so after a couple hours (10:30pm) I went inside with my 2 yr old, only to come back down to him still drinking and now smoking hookah with his brother, male cousins and 3 young thots that showed up. Women need to put their foot down. I push for over two hours and my daughter was born at 6:55 am. He was much better with our sons birth though even cleaned up after me when I puked in the basin I still hold that first time against him though! I beleive that 4th pregnancy has got to be my last. Get real, people. When you sent the call out, you said husbands, and I totally forgot what my dad did the night I was born. I want to know how old the OP and her H are as well as the ages of some of the responders who are so sure their H's will slow down the boozehound behavior closer to their edds. Yep, I was 8.5 cm when we checked in to the hospital). Jack Morley, the giant baby, was born just after 8am. She never left my side, fed me frozen Gatorade chips for hours, and knew exactly what to do(and by the way, shes never been pregnant and never wanted to be.). Since our house is on the way to the hospital, we stopped to get our bags. At 9 am, contractions really kicked in and still no hubby. Woodward said the labor was moving fast and about 15 minutes later, the baby had arrived, even before paramedics had arrived on the scene. We went to the urologist and he laughed out loud when my DH said that he was a moderate drinker and then told him that he usually had 1 or 2 beers a day. NOW I have to remind him, when he rolls his eyes knowingly seeing movies where women scream in pain during labor, that it really IS realistic too, even if it was not what he observed! When in labor, every woman becomes bitchy for the reason that she is in tremendous pain, moron! There's also a growing body of medical literature that finds links between stressful events in pregnancyincluding natural disastersand poor birth outcomes. Hes a genius. This makes me smile and has healed that little part of me that resented having to be alone and strong at that one beautiful moment. he replied no it didnt and rolled over to try and go back to sleep. I've tried explaining this to him, but he . This isnt a birth story, but rather sadder. Or a little bit of both? When it comes to how to live with an alcoholic husband, try not to make any major decisions without getting input from your spouse or partner first. Hubby was very excited and solicitous and kept asking how I was and what did I need. I used to go with him but stopped after getting pregnant as i didnt announce till 12 weeks and making excuses about not . Labor started picking up, but the contractions never developed a regular pattern. Just have a rational, heart to heart talk to him when he is not stressed out. At 4 weeks premature my water broke at 4am. Guess who is going to be taking care of the baby all night through? . Honestly more hurt that thats more important, then it is funny! For this pregnant mother, her escape was playing bingo. He told the registering nurse, my room nurse, my midwife, my doula, ANYONE who had ears our WHOLE life story. I was only at the hospital for two hours before she arrived. So, while I was practically under our bed from being doubled over in pain, looking at his watch, he said, I think you need to be more in tune with your body.. I had our birth center bag ready. I had a go-bag ready with food, water and phone numbers. After I threatened to divorce him 75 times, he finally asked for directions and got his pregnant wife to the hospital still pregnant. My husband also told me at one point that hearing the doctor give me the episiotomy sounded like someone cutting raw chicken with scissors. this is fantastic!! Once we got to the hospital, though, he was great. I had to be induced. By the time we got up to labor and delivery, I was completely dilated but my water hadnt broken. Yay, transition! We made it to the hospital in alittle under 3 hours and were holding our baby boy with in 15 mins of his birth. It was like something from a movie. . What does his choice of alchohol have to do with it? Carol, Id love to know what you did to him between baby 3 and baby 4! 16/12/2017 05:17. -One Funny Motha, While in labor with a placental abruption at 34 weeks, my husband says I think you should calm down. From what you've posted, your H has a serious problem. When I woke up after the operation, the nurses unceremoniously kicked me out, but because I didnt have a cellphone, I couldnt call him and I didnt have my own transport. I woke up at 2:30 to contractions. Into the car it went. However, this might not be a good decision, ever. He is lucky I didnt kill him. You'd like to get my newsletter! Unfortunately, the emerald fell out when I was in middle school so I bought a new one to replace it. I even brought him the timer and paper and pen, so he wouldnt have to get up. Its not a movie wherein things change quickly. With our second things went pretty well. This is YOUR own husband being an alcoholic. We tackled more laundry. (I am not worried about a ride though because we have a ton of family and friends that could take me in a pinch.). Many people told me that being induced would be really difficult, long, and painful. When you go through what women go through in labor and delivery, you can tell us about being bitchy. 45 minutes later, we left the house in a crazy snowstorm. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. -RealMomofNJ, Mine kicked me out of the car in the ambulance bay 9cm dilated with my bag and left me to traipse across the hospital and up two flights of stairs on my own because he didnt want to pay for hospital parking. I would be wasted if I had 5 drinks. She arranged transportation to the hospital from our neighbors. But he was back at the hospital within the hour and he slept on that rediculously tiny hospital couch all night. Ha, I thought to myself, hell be visiting the bathroom regularly tomorrow. I had a very, very fast labor (from nothing to a baby in my arms in 7 hours). This will enable you to stay focused and prevent you from giving in to temptation. Someone needs to tell them it is not helpful to say things likeHere we go. and This looks like a big one.. So here I am in the passenger seat, in labor, trying (graciously, mind you) to keep my moaning down so he can make this call. my parents always had a rule never to argue in front of me or my younger brother.. Most of the responses ignore the real issues, blame it on men being stupid, or just excuse his behavior. Well when it was time for my epidural, my husband went home to take a quick shower and grab a bite to eat! My husband ripped a huge, disgusting fart while I was in labor and then got offended when I gave him the dirtiest look I possibly could. They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. Remember, youre not to be blamed for their habit. No matter how many times this joke-cum-legend is passed off as a recent tale, nothing will . The next few hours are a blur but my husband keeps having to leave to use the bathroom. yep, i paint with a broad ass brush. And then I was really shocked when talking with an older lady at church who told me she went into labor naturally on Dec. 31, 1964, and the maternity ward was . Jaime Clark didn't feel contractions with her first baby, either. If you can't reach your doctor or midwife, go to the emergency room. My experience is pretty tame compared to most of these! I folded those clothes some more. While having my first son, I tore from one end to the other. These are hilarious! I feel your pain! But when he does, he is belligerant and can't stop and just a few. Sexuality has nothing to do with a persons character or supportiveness. Braxton hicks are most often painless or at the worst, uncomfortable. Now I refuse to touch it so that I can pass it down to my own daughter. With my 1st son, my husband wanted to take a shower before we left for the hospital. As if I wasnt even there, In front of them. my hubby went on smoke breaks during each contactions I had. My husband made the list! I had to go to the hospital for a D&C with my first pregnancy as the baby stopped growing and there was no heartbeat, but I didnt miscarriage automatically. It might have been when he was relaying the story about how tired he was and how the day seemed to drag on forever. There might have been pee before I got all hooked up. My DH never drinks like that, unless we're headed out for a crazy night with friends (every once in a while) or to a wedding or something. After 38 hrs of labor, My hubby looked at me, with this serious look on his face, while Im pushing our daughters head out, and saidwell that was easy, can we do it again? (It meaning have another baby)i told him sure, but you can carry it this time!, After I had a surgery on my left breast, my husband asked what he would were to an event! Her husband waited nearby but outside the birthing room. He replied that he didnt feel so well. Prodromal labor usually won't. Yes, keep telling her that labor will sober him right up, and that he has to sit in the waiting room if he is buzzed, because that's totally the right answer. Around 4:30 Sunday morning, I start pushing. I have always gone into labor in the evening so DH was home with me and it was my water breaking that made me go in. Just have a back-up plan ready so you don't need to stress about himmaybe a family member lives close by? Epidurals are the pain relief of choice in the U.S. but that may be changing. this was his fourth child. 10000% this. Based on our calculations, the due date for our first child fell during my husband's biggest meeting of the year, which involved a lot of preparation, presentations, and traveling. He drinks every night. So I drove the 40 minutes to the hospital solo. I don't feel bad because he should have enough respect for me not to drink for a month. My darling husband looks at me tenderly and askes So, when do you want to have the next one? 48 hours of 7 to 10 minute contractions and sent home from the hospital twiceyeah, I almost punched him in the face. But for nearly a week, some women, including Lauren, gave birth . HELLO! I know the baby could come anytime now but I can't really worry too much about it or it will just make me worry more. A few other symptoms are: Drinking early in the morning. I told him to either put the whole call on mute, tell them his wife was in active labor, or (and I strongly encouraged this), NOT TAKE THE DAMN CALL. SEARCH PARTIES. As a wife of a recovering alcoholic please listen to what everyone is saying about binge drinking and alcoholism. Stand with them and help them overcome it. He tried to Mapquest the directions while driving down the highway and almost killed us. However, Phil and I are pretty much the masters of the silent fight. Both those incidents still come up at family get togethers. In labor with our second after my water broke at 6am. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a cup of coffee from the bodega across the street. The elevator went up to the maternity clinic where i had to yell for help because i couldnt walk. After our first they were sewing me up from some tearing. Im sorry if you do not want to hear this but someone has got to say it instead of ignoring it. "Had 'bloody show' for two weeks prior to my water breaking and even lost my mucus plug and NADA! With our fourth, he was perfect and even had to help deliver the baby!! I was on the floor screaming with what I thought were bad early labor contractions, but later found out I was already in full labor. There is no scientific proof to show that drinking alcohol can help in inducing labor. Your rights as a patient supecedes his right to violate your peace and privacy. and my water broke at 2am so I tried calling him to tell him to come back. When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. You probably will NEVER be in that much pain but if you are, I sincerely hope you remember what you said! He cracked jokes the entire time, including asking my medical team (all women in masks) what they were making in woodshop. Mine said I was making a spectacle of myself while in an induced labor with back to back contractions. The one thing that you would do at this point is go into denial mode. The love and support of your family can help you cope during this difficult time and give you the encouragement you need to get back on track. After threats, and having my parents call and force him to drive back. Of course, I ended up delivering at 230 AM and when I asked for something to eat, the doctor told me Id have to wait until the cafeteria opened. Why do I remember the date so well? By the way, he would never drive while drinking, he thought it would be completely fine to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital if he's drunk. My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. I suppose I should give him credit for being there at least. I feel so much resentment for his lack of physical and emotional support. -Carrie, My husband rested the magazine he was reading on my legs while I lay dying WITHOUT an epidural. I guess this is natures version of temporary amnesia because clearly, without it, wed never go back for more. Why do I remember the date so well? Baby. Thank you TokenI think im in love with you! I called and called and called him just to get that annoying beep saying he was already on the phone (with his brother) he would not answer my call. I thought that was all obvious to DH but apparently I was wrong. After reading through all of them (and seriously, YOU SHOULD READ THROUGH ALL OF THEM, the thread might be the best thread ever), I have one question What about the phrase 9cm dilated makes men feel the need to abandon their unborn children to buy a sandwich??? 5. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior of theirs under any circumstances. This was compounded by the fact I went from water breaking to transition skipping the first four stages of labor ( I couldnt even talk). I will never know. Suffer, dear. I never left my wifes side while she gave birth. Probably because I threatened him with bodily harm if he didnt. To help you more to understand, Is my husband an alcoholic?, listed below are also some pointers on how to live with an alcoholic husband. posts, and comments anonymously, in any medium. Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward. -Kate, Right after my c-section, my husband asked the nurse in the recovery room if he could just lay down on the floor, saying I promise I wont be in the way. He didn't drink for the majority of my pregnancy, but then went out to a work function and came home wasted (he was driven home by a coworker).
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